Why you hate the holidays
And how to change it
If you hate the holidays, you have some work to do.
I did.
Every supposed season of celebration was eclipsed by personal dread. I sulked in the shameful shadow.
I now know that it had NOTHING to do with the holidays, my childhood home, the food being served, or the ones serving it.
I didn't love myself.
Because of this, I perceived that I was under attack. My nervous system armed the battlements, but I wasn't under siege.
It was an insurrection.
It's impossible to be your best self on three hours of sleep, dehydrated, and hungry. Spiritual malnourishment is the same.
My emotional cup was empty, so I donned gilded armor to cover festering flesh. Nothing and no one could hurt me. I was already on the job.
All relationships are mirrors.
Your irritation with family during the holiday season is a SYMPTOM, but not the root cause. Real medicine teaches us that symptoms are signals to look inward. If you don't like what you see, you don't like who you are.
Understanding this concept is simple. 'The work' of healing is walking the Knowledge from head to heart.
'The return of the hero' reveals how much he has grown. If you are still triggered upon return, you're destined to spin the loop once again. Your evolution will drag you back into the abyss…
Act three of Campbells mono-myth concludes with re-incorporation into the 'ordinary world'. The ultimate boon is who the Hero became on his journey. His gift is himself, and gets to share it with the ones to whom he said goodbye with teary eyes.
So this holiday season, listen more and talk less.
Observe how your family and friends react to you, and how you react (internally) to them. Class is in session, and for the prepared student, there is a lesson to be learned.
No one debates politics in the emergency room. Death makes priorities painfully obvious. I encourage you to learn the lesson in advance.
I know it's hard when the people closest to you don’t support your growth. But it's normal. You killed the version of you that they knew and loved. Give them the opportunity to love who you became.
Exercise Patience, and emanate Gratitude.
I will also add that distance does make the heart grow fonder. The Hero's journey requires separation. After ~9 months away this year (the longest time apart in my life thus far), I'm looking forward to the holiday hugs.
I return home carrying the Ultimate Boon, with a heart full of Thanksgiving, and a rich understanding why Christmas carries it's namesake.
Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise, talk soon.
Be The Renaissance.
Beautiful
Hits... should I say, home.